This Killing Time . . .

Is killing me!

I am such a bundle of nerves. I'm not sure if I want to cry or throw up or both. I should hear from UT any day now. The nice woman with whom I spoke last week assured me that the letters were going out today. She also told me that I could check the Web site today for my application status, but she lied about that.

I never thought I'd say this, but I really don't want to leave Austin.* It took a while, but I'm finally starting to feel at home here. And I've finally made some amazing friends.

Plus, I don't know if my ego can handle being rejected by another school. What happened to the good ol' days when I was smart and schools were actually offering me incentives to apply? I never thought I'd say this again, either, but I wish I were 18 again and knew, without a doubt, that I was smart and talented.

And, of course, the niggling doubts about whether I'm doing the right thing have popped up again: Should I be going to library school instead?

Seriously, if I get through today without having a heart attack or bursting into tears, I will consider it a major success.



*Check with me again when we're in our umpteenth week of 100+ degree, 99% humidity weather.