Wednesday, March 15, 2006

This Killing Time . . .

Is killing me!

I am such a bundle of nerves. I'm not sure if I want to cry or throw up or both. I should hear from UT any day now. The nice woman with whom I spoke last week assured me that the letters were going out today. She also told me that I could check the Web site today for my application status, but she lied about that.

I never thought I'd say this, but I really don't want to leave Austin.* It took a while, but I'm finally starting to feel at home here. And I've finally made some amazing friends.

Plus, I don't know if my ego can handle being rejected by another school. What happened to the good ol' days when I was smart and schools were actually offering me incentives to apply? I never thought I'd say this again, either, but I wish I were 18 again and knew, without a doubt, that I was smart and talented.

And, of course, the niggling doubts about whether I'm doing the right thing have popped up again: Should I be going to library school instead?

Seriously, if I get through today without having a heart attack or bursting into tears, I will consider it a major success.

*Check with me again when we're in our umpteenth week of 100+ degree, 99% humidity weather.


At 12:19 PM , Blogger Bearette24 said...

Sweetie, hang in there...I know what you mean, things just seemed brighter, more assured when we were 18...before life happened and we developed doubts :( I think you will get into UT, and even if you don' just means they're stupid.

At 1:04 PM , Blogger Mike said...

Not that things seemed brighter when I was 18, but I wasn't jaded by insincere and incompetent people. There are many schools out there, and you'll end up at the one that fits you best.

At 1:20 PM , Blogger Liz said...

When I need confidence I just think of James Frey's acronym tattoo: FTBSITTTD!

(just kidding)

Hold on! A few tears might be okay, but please- no heart attacks, okay?

At 1:35 PM , Blogger Bearette24 said...

hehe...liz, i love that motto!!!

in fact, i considered taking out "post a comment" in my blog and replacing it with "time to throw down"...

mike - good point - maybe things seemed brighter because we weren't jaded. i also agree about the school.


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