Monday, August 14, 2006

I Want My Mommy

And my daddy, too. His entire goal in life is to avoid major conflict, so he's also not speaking to me.

But about twenty times yesterday, I desperately wanted to call my mom. To get some comfort or support or perspective. I hate not speaking to her. And I'm very close to breaking down and calling her. I'm also getting increasingly angry with her for abandoning me at such a major time---when I'm moving halfway across the country---again---and starting grad school. Two huge life changes.

But since my Irish stubborness is tempered with German practicallity, I'll probably be the one to give in first.

I just can't even tell you how much this hurts.

7 Comments:

At 7:26 AM , Blogger Bearette said...

I'm sure she wants to cave too. She'd be happy to hear from you.

 
At 7:26 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and Rowen...

 
At 12:46 PM , Blogger kj said...

lisa, my mom and i went way too long without a real relationship. i think i understand.

sometimes writing her a letter (from the heart, not judgemental, but honest about feeling hurt and wanting a different kind of relationship with her)puts the perspective in balance. you may or may not mail it, you may or may not call her, and you may certainly cry writing and reading it. but it might get the pain out and the hope in.

bearette is probably right. "mom, i'm sad about this. what can we do so this doesn't keep happening?"

the counselor in me speaks. toss in wastebasket if/as appropriate.

kj

 
At 9:03 PM , Blogger Scott said...

Hope that you are feeling better. I think that sometimes it has to be us that give in first. it sucks but it is the way it goes.

Scott

 
At 6:13 AM , Blogger Frema said...

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 
At 11:56 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

:( I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I hope things get better for you soon.

 
At 8:42 PM , Blogger Elsa said...

I agree with Scott...sometimes you have to give in because not giving in makes it worse for you. Also, sometimes the other person just isn't capable of giving in or really understanding the consequences of her actions or inaction upon your feelings.

 

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