Weekend Plans: The One Where I Drink a Lot of Wine, Hide in Bed, and Ponder the Big Questions of Life

And I thought buying that bottle of wine was a silly indulgence. Turns out it was rather prescient of me. Life has gone rapidly downhill in the past twenty-four hours. It started yesterday with a vague, chilling e-mail from someone I don’t know. She was asking if I knew a certain person---K---and if so, could I call her. Turns out that K had a brain aneurysm on Sunday while running a 5k. She’s in serious condition: stable but unconscious and precarious. She’s in her mid-thirties, healthy and active. She runs, bikes, and swims. She only drinks in moderation and doesn’t smoke. She does everything we’re supposed to do to live a long, healthy life. Yesterday I was freaked and sad. Today, I’m more tired and short-tempered. That could have something to do with the two glasses of wine I had last night.

Then today I had to deal with a person who . . . well, let’s just say that I can tolerate her on a good day. And today is not a good day.*

All this has filled my head with lots of questions: How am I living my life? What would be my legacy if I died tomorrow? What would I regret? How would I be remembered? If I were in the hospital, who would visit? Who would care? What kind of person am I? What do people say about me in whispers behind closed doors? The aborigines of Australia have a saying that what you most dislike about another is the thing you most dislike about yourself. What is it that I see in that person that I don’t like about myself? Why do I let her push my buttons? Where can I get some happy pills?

And so forth. Anyway . . . I’m trying to think of weekend plans to list, but all I want to do is climb back into bed.

Please keep K and her family in your prayers.



*I really wish I could vent more on this topic, but I’ve learned from others’ mistakes not to say too much about certain areas of my life.