I Am So Annoying!

I really can't think of anything worth sharing. So here:

MSN Careers posted a quiz to determine whether you are an annoying coworker. Take it yourself here. See my answers below. And, yes, I am a really, really annoying coworker.

1. You make provocative statements to "foster dialogue" or needle others.
How about badly delivered snark?

2. You often find yourself delivering a discourse consisting solely of buzzwords and catch phrases.
More and more.

3. You make up nicknames for all of your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. (e.g. "Good job, Chachi!", "I'm going to have to disagree with you there, T-bone!")
Only mean names and only behind their backs.

4. Your office is completely decorated in your children's pictures and artwork.
Change “children’s” to “dog’s” and I’m in. Which is probably even more annoying than the original statement.

5. You have plastered your cubicle with photos of yourself taken with famous people.
If I ever met anyone famous, heck ya!

6. It is your trademark to recite rhyming or other cutesy messages as your voicemail greeting.
Nope. No way. Never.

7. The questions you ask at meetings are preceded by long monologues of your views and accomplishments.
Hee. But, no. I'll leave that to Shelob.

8. You routinely eat odiferous lunches at your desk.
I would if I could.

9. You bring in dishes that you tried to cook, but didn't turn out quite right as "special treats" for your coworkers.
Oh yeah.

10. People seem tense -- even panic-stricken -- when they see you coming their way.
Yep.

11. Others back away from you as you speak.
Or suddenly remember that urgent task that they must return to immediately. Yeah, you know who you are . . .

12. You send flurries of e-mails to the rest of the company telling them what you are doing. (e.g. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.")
Safe on this one.

13. You vigorously chew or pop your gum.
No, but I do enjoy slurping my drinks and speaking with my mouth full.

14. You wear strong perfume or cologne.
I prefer to go without perfume. Or deodorant. Or showering.

15. You assume your coworkers are fascinated by your personal problems and exploits.
You mean they aren’t? But, yeah, they get the full rundown on a regular basis.

16. You interrupt others while they are speaking or are deep in conversation.
Uh-huh.

17. You are moody and don't care who knows it.
If they would just share the Xanax, we wouldn’t have this problem.

18. You often give others assignments as they're walking out the door for lunch or to catch the train home.
I can honestly say that I would never intentionally do this.

19. You borrow staplers, scissors and tape from others' desks and forget to return them.
All. The. Time. My office is the black hole.

20. Your dialogue with others often end with the other person shouting "You are so annoying!"
So far, not so much. But I expect that to change soon.